this is so fucking relevant
If you don’t let Kane inside, he assumes you can’t see him so he gets up on here just to he sure you’ll notice him.
Im a mess
Today was good til i got home….you know my aunt told me when it rains it pours…and she wasn’t kidding i got more pissed today than i probably ever have….i jus started shaking and i started blacking out i started questioning if i even had a purpose in this world i start doubting myself and i know its from years of being put down but i wanna get over that i wanna feel good about myself sometimes i feel like im not wanted and thats all i really want it to feel wanted….to be wanted i feel myself slipping away from everyone slipping away more and more everyday and thats not good i know its not but i cant help myself when im left alone to jus sit and think about whats going through my head it makes me feel worthless and weak because the things that go through my head….i cant even explain sometimes…. i dont even know how to put it into words its all a jumbled mess that im still trying to make sense of myself but its not easy at all its the hardest thing ive had to do…
so here lately Ive just had a lot on my mind and haven’t exactly had the words to say what Ive been thinking but to be honest i feel blessed….Ive been going through a lot lately with having surgery then having to go back cause of the pain i was in but im fine now….actually im great im glad im fine for the most part….or so the doctors tell me my life is amazing……its really only amazing for one reason….the one reason i feel that im still here…the one reason i wake up everyday for…..my girlfriend…i think about her constantly even when shes right beside me i think of everything we have been through together and how thankful i am to have her in my life shes truly amazing….you know i thought i knew what love was when i was in school but to be honest i didn’t i didn’t realize what love was til i saw her….she just memorized me in a way that nobody ever has and the way she talked to me like she actually cared what i was saying for the first time in my life i felt like someone was actually listening to what i had to say and wanted to listen….we’ve been together for seven months now and it has been….the best seven months of my life shes always there for me when nobody else is she doesn’t judge me and when she looks at me i can see how much she loves me and that just gives me butterflies….STILL after seven months of being together and living with her she still gives me butterflies and she makes me nervous but she also makes me feel good about myself i cant imagine my life without her in it because when i do it hurts too bad it makes me want to cry because shes the best thing to ever happen to me and if i ever lost her i dont know what i would do….shes my better half the one i wanna marry…the one i wanna spend the rest of my life with shes the one for me i can feel it in my heart for the first time ever like were meant to be ill love you forever Aubrianna Matamaya Perez
